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September updates !!!!!!!!!! #septembergurls

Hello Litterbug nation. This month I turned 22 and moved across the world! These are fitting occasions for the inaugural newsletter. I am doing this for a few reasons: 1. to catalogue and remember all the stuff I do and why I do it 2. to get better at freeform/article writing and 3. because the urge to continuously document and share so much about myself that took hold when I was a child and once manifested in the form of YouTube vlogs has not gone away and it needs somewhere to go. I can not control this I am merely the messenger. Anyways:

As of a few days ago I have been in Ireland for exactly a month. Working on many projects that will surface soon :) My September looked mostly like this!

Books

Good month for books! Being in a new place is lonely so far and I have been filling the time by reading lotss.... like childhood levels of escapism, reading under the dinner table, running out of class to find somewhere to sit down and go for the next two hours. I have perhaps finally achieved my goal of getting back into reading ??!?!? But at what cost...

Just Kids - Patti Smith
Devoured this in my few days at home so I could send it to Ash before going to Ireland. So many of my friends just moved to New York in pursuit of artistry of some kind. This book made me think about them and myself and the persistence of connection and friendship and love in the face of the impossibility of it all!!! Tried to listen to some Patti Smith after reading and it didn't really do it for me, but, her writing is beautiful and I am enamored by the thoughtful documentation of that moment in time in New York, even if it is just from her specific lens. Something so beautiful about the many people who make up a scene and all of their individual recollections coming together to form a larger ecosystem of stories and names that become legends and legends that are just people. I need to get a copy of Please Kill Me.

Sunburn - Chloe Michelle Howarth
Going away gift from my BELOVED Kate (heart face kiss face heart face)
Unfortunately.. mid :( Started off on a sour note just because I have a hard time with writing that comes from the perspective of a child-- it's sooo so hard to get right and not feel forced. Like "hey bro" "hey sis" sibling dialogue at its worst. This book did not have that thank god but still. Beyond that I thought the prose was so gorgeous. Really visceral writing. Heat literally coming off the page. Alas that is the only place this book excelled for me. Felt like the characters and the story became pretty suffocatingly one note. Everyone is in love with Lucy and for WHY she is so uninteresting!

Everything I Know About Love - Dolly Alderton
In an interesting juxtaposition to Sunburn... Dolly Alderton I feel, with this book, has mastered the art of getting into your younger self's head and writing from their perspective. Empathizing with yourself on that level, killing the urge to rationalize and explain away how you Know Better Now, but still tying it all together with the multifaceted perspective of age and experience, is near impossible. Genius level. Continually delightful. My only ONLY thing is I think the whole second chapter was unnecessary and killed the momentum.

Anarchism and Other Essays - Emma Goldman
So far I haven't gotten past the introduction (sorry Emma). This is my non-fiction pick for a little while while I'm blowing through fiction. Picked it up from a little free library on my last day in Boston. Oh how I miss you little free library. Much of my summer consisted of exchanging with the two that were closest to my house where the turnover was brutal-- you had to be vigilant!!! I saw the whole Court of Thorns and Roses series appear and disappear in a matter of hours! I hope someone is enjoying my copy of 1984. Anyways. This is mostly an excuse to talk about how much I love little free libraries.

Delta of Venus - Anaïs Nin
Similarly unfinished. FOUL. Not unfinished because of the foulness I think I just lost interest. I was joking I should start reading erotica to get me back into reading and then I just got back into reading without it so... will probably revisit and finish for historical value at least.

The Left Hand of Darkness - Ursula K. Le Guin
My year of Ursula K. Le Guin ♡ Started a couple months ago with The Dispossessed and have been slowly digesting more and more of her work as guided by S3yd. Her philosophy on the novel as a thought experiment really resonates with me!! Writing in this one is gorgeous as usual. Most of my criticisms or places where I percieve the execution of the thought experiment to have fallen short were addressed in Is Gender Necessary? Redux. Have been stumbling into a lot of writing recently around the concept of denial and belief and how sometimes the pointed absence of something perpetuates that thing as much as its intentional presence-- for example, how atheism relies on and perpetuates the concept of God just as much as faith does. Treatment of gender in this book was much of the same to me. Again though I think my frustrations that more liberties weren't taken (with gender and sex and sexuality and societal form and government or lack thereof and etc etc) have already been posthumously addressed. But more importantly, if Le Guin weren't such a COWARD they would have explored each others' bodies in that tent. I'm sorry Le Guin I should have never said that

One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel García Márquez
Abouttt 2/3rds through this right now... what a wild ride. My word. It's beautiful!!!! I wish I was fluent in Spanish so I could read the original prose. Realizing I'm really into magical realism. It is so potent for startling imagery... really love the normalization of the fantastic vs. the romanticization of the mundane. Everything in this book is just as it is. It doesn't need a cause or mysterious root, though when you do get one it's just as inexplicable. Also really enjoying the lightning fast pacing. The drama... shit just keeps happening to these people. And they do it to themselves! Poor Ursula damn!!!!

TV shows and movies

Twin Peaks
Okay to be honest as I'm writing this it's October and this is such an October pick but I digress... watching with Cora right now we are COOKING through season 2! I ♡ Maddy Ferguson

Sex and The City
Finally finished Sex and The City after maybe two years of being not great at watching TV ?? My most reliable cooking companion... nothing will ever reach the high of season 3 and 4 to me but I truly loved all of it. I am a Carrie apologist! She might be annoying but she is free!!! Big can chew rocks though like actually I stand by that.

Notting Hill
Watched on my birthday with sweetest Sara and Clara and S3yd :DDDD Such a good rom com. The ones where you really have to suspend your disbelief are the best. And disbelief was suspent... not even just because of the situation but because the act three comeback was just ridiculous to me.... sigh. I do love Hugh Grant SO much. Though I think he's hotter when he's being evil a la Bridget Jones' Diary, sue me.

Girls
Another recommendation from Kate which I LOVED for the first 5 episodes and then had to stop watching because pirating has proven impossible here and I don't want to pay for a VPN. So funny and so hard to watch I will surely revisit!!

Intermission
Part of my pre-Ireland research with my mam :D Reminded me a lot of Love Actually if Love Actually was violent and weirder and less sad so maybe the only similarity really is the ensemble cast? Regardless love that setup very much. So absurd I was just in it start to finish. I can't believe Cillian Murphy's girlfriend takes him back (sorry spoilers).

The Banshees of Inesherin
Also deeply absurd and hilarious and troubling and good. Part of Ashleigh's required viewing for me pre-Ireland. I think it is the reason I had a dream about trying to pull a hangnail and ending up pulling my whole finger off.

Eno
I have to be so honest I knew nothing about Brian Eno going into this. He's so whimsical! Watching him on screen was the best part I think. There was a really endearing segment in his garden. Also some cool clips of the sessions he did with U2. Maybe this is a movie for prior Eno appreciators because I was significantly enlightened regarding some parts of his career and left wanting a lot more in others (the pitfalls of a movie that changes every time you see it). Generative movie is cool but I will not be going to see it again at least for a few years. Definitively liked it more than the Bob Dylan movie.

500 Days of Summer
Started watching before my plane to Dublin took off and then the generator to the plane died (?) so I only got like 30 minutes in. But I was remembering it based only on my recollection of YouTube video essays (lol) and I guess I expected it to be a more subtle/less stylistic movie? Tom is DELUDED I don't know how anyone identifies with him to be honest. I think we're just watching the mishaps of his expectations. But that's so charming it's the whole point of the framing I feel!!! To watch him get whipped around and pity him a little bit but also know he will eventually recover because he lives in a world of fantasy. Did this movie invent the MPDG? Summer did not fw him not even really that much. Ok I need to actually finish the movie before talking out of my ass

Music

69 Love Songs - The Magnetic Fields
Specifically the first disk, more specifically I Don't Want To Get Over You, I Think I Need A New Heart, All My Little Words, Sweet-Lovin' Man. Yeah yeah yeah normie picks. Haven't gotten through the rest yet. They're so good though. The misses are misses but the hits are HITS.

No Life For Me - Wavves & Cloud Nothings

New American Language - Dan Bern
Got so many good recommendations this month from a mix reference playlist I got from Dina of Good Judgement. I feel like Dan Bern in this song is speaking directly to me and also is me.

Today - The Innocence Mission

Snack Monster & Camelot - Star Moles
Really incredible story rec from Trent. I keep trying to describe this music to people and the best I can come up with is, for these albums that is, if Aimee Mann were maximalist. There's a third album that's more of a Kate Bush rip so maybe that's where some of the more operatic choices are coming from-- regardless it is so overstimulating and jangly and hooky in the best way ever

Bleeds - Wednesday
Even though I probably found them around the same time as everybody else was starting to, I often feel like an early Wednesday head... just feels so good to see them continuously getting their flowers. And literally getting better with every record as if it was even possible. Karly's writing is like nothing else. The only songwriter maybe in my life so far who has compelled me to pore through their references, maybe because we come from the same town and maybe because she just has great taste!

River Euphrates - Pixies
Every fall I have to get back into this song. It's a non-negotiable. And every time, I think about when I put it on in the car and Adrienne really did not fw it

Orioles at Dusk - 22° Halo
Masterclass in songwriting I think. So evocative. Feels so much like falling in love !!!!!! This whole album really just illustrates my own biggest goal when writing, which is to pull together small and seemingly unrelated moments to form the outline of a much larger and overarching feeling. Here there is traffic and tenderness and surprise and plastic grapes and it is the shape of someone you have a big huge crush on.

Monday Morning Merle - Cody Johnson
Wow I wish I was driving down I-40 right now. I like when he goes MOnday MORNing MERRRLEEE

My Stove's On Fire - Robert Lester Folsom
Another song that feels so very much like falling in love except this time, maybe in spite of the lyrics expressing something yet to be explored, it feels like the kind of ironic declarations of desire and outrageous romance that appear with deep familiarity and friendship that also includes kissing. Maybe because the kitchen is such a domestically romantic place to me. And maybe because the song is so damn danceable!! It feels like being married 35 years!

The Color Clear - Starcharm
Tragic post Boston moment was getting asked to open this show at O'brien's and having to say no... this song is addictive.... the bass sounds so good ......... listened to it one million times cursing my luck

Misc favorites

Tony pants

Wearing all black

Tortoiseshell clip (Normal People)

Japanese maple trees

The hot air from the dryer that WORKS!

Cats in the neighborhood

The 202 bus

Pomegranates

Dream journalling

Decapitator on the master

Conversations with strangers

Calling someone that loves you - no one ever tells you (they do) about the woes of being miles and miles away from everyone who already knows what a freak you are. It is good and necessary to be known and to know others. When I feel like there are wasps in my brain it is probably because I haven't called my mom yet this week.

Americano or oat Mocha - There is nothing more embarassing than ordering an americano here as an American. Maybe it's that I am so predictable. I crave a signature perfume and a skincare routine. This is what being single with no prospects for the first time in 11 years will do to a girl.

AUTUMNAL ASS SOUP

This soup is perfect and delicious and lasts me so many days. Combined from a chicken noodle soup recipe and a photo from Isha's story (thank u Isha). Been making with chicken bc I'm trying to bulk up but have tried here to make it veg friendly!!! No measurements bc we cook with the heart. Here is everything you will need:

  1. Dress your main protein in salt, pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, italian mix, and smoked paprika. Keep it in one piece for now it will be shredded later. If you don't have a main protein you can add extra of all these spices to step 3.
  2. In a large vessel (this will contain the whole soup) heat butter and olive oil. Sear protein. The recipe I got this methodology from undercooks it on purpose since it gets added back to the soup later to cook more but I do NOT trust that shit. So cook until it is cooked. Or sear 3-4 mins per side until golden brown at your own risk. Then take it OUTE and set aside
  3. Same pan-- add more butter and olive oil, saute shallot, carrot, and celery with salt, pepper, italian mix, and chili flakes until it is nice and warm and smells really good/starting to get tender.
  4. Add chopped garlic and cook briefly (like a minute), then pour in the wine and simmer it down.
  5. Add chicken broth/bouillon and some more salt and pepper. Then stir in THE BEANS! And THE QUINOA!!!! And also the corn, ginger, and dill. And really anything else your heart desires to add to the soup. Throw in the parmesan rind and FINALLY return protein (in one piece!!!!) to the pot.
  6. Bring to a boil then simmer for 20-25 minutes until carrots are tender and quinoa is ready. If you cook too long and it no longer really resembles a soup don't worry because it is still really good (speaking from experience).
  7. Remove protein and SHREDDDDD!!!! I use two forks.
  8. Remove parmesan rind.
  9. Put protein back in, stir in lemon juice and any fresh herbs as well.
  10. Ready to devour :D
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